Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Introductions: Ire

I’d like to take this opportunity to say that this blog is a giant pain in the ass. And a fucking waste of time.

Fine.

I’ll write. But only ‘cause you motherfuckers won’t leave me alone.

Master has seen fit to place me into a new group. I guess He finally got tired of listening to the many complaints about my lack of cooperation with the last people I was forced to work with. Just because I am a proxy does not mean I have to get along with every single one of my allies. Fuck, given enough motivation I’d gladly slaughter a few of my “brothers and sisters.” Especially the ones who called His attention to my hatred of anything that requires effort. You know who you are and you are all on my hit list.

But more about myself.

I have a wide variety of talents that I refuse to share lest I be made to do more fucking work than I am made to do already. I don’t feel very bragy today, so I’ll keep this real short: I am good at blowing things up and working with technology. I enjoy decapitating people with either a rusty saw or a good old fashioned axe.

Now leave me alone.

4 comments:

  1. You’ve actually put some effort into constructing this blog. I’m surprised.

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  2. ...Blowing things...
    Erm... I don't wanna be THAT guy, but that sounds wrong. You should PROBABLY change that to "blowing things up".

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  3. HAH! That would have been hysterical, but unfortunately it actually says “blowing things up.” You must have read over the “up.” Shame, that would have made my day.

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  4. Remember to add in "setting things on fire." Fire's one of the few things that actually works.

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