A Report

Because Ao keeps forwarding me emails from angry high ranking people demanding updates:

Ao is…somewhere, Skoll is at the Mansion, Ire is probably still in jail as I have not yet done the paperwork to free him, and Coyote is almost finished with his mission. He’s also not speaking to me. Apparently, he’s still pissed about me tackling him off his target’s roof on April first. He can be surprisingly petty at times.

As for me, I have been living on the streets…all by myself…in the rain…because Ao kicked me out of the Mansion for the duration of April. I didn’t even do anything that bad this year.

While I’m out here, I might as well do something useful. I’ve tracked down a small group of Runners, and I plan to eliminate them this evening.

All shall look upon this blog and despair. hehe

I like this background much better than that other hideous thing.


...you probably shouldn’t have given me administrator privileges.

Not much you can do about it now though.

Tomorrow is going to suck, but right now I don’t care~

<3

April 1st

Best holiday evar.

Hey. Hey Ire. Get that thing I sent ya?

Oh and Coyote knows I’m tailing him now. I regret nothing.

Assignment Report

As you all fucking know I got a letter from a ferret-faced bastard that Ao absolutely despises, telling me about an assignment. Why the fuck did he send a stupid letter anyway?

Ferret-Face granted me the honor of monitoring a sort of loop/pocket dimension and torturing its occupant. Boring shit, for the most part. Normally I would have told him to go fuck himself, but since the loop’s occupant was this prick… The potential fun outweighed the potential boredom.

The work was easy, just to my liking. I’d go in, smack the fucker around a little, and leave. Leaving the loop was disorienting as hell, but it was worth it. Right up until some black haired skinny bastard appeared out of fucking nowhere and ruined every-fucking-thing. Ferret failed to mention North had people who would come looking for him, of course.

So I entered the loop one day, and I heard someone hacking up a lung behind me. I turned around and saw the above mentioned black haired skinny bastard. I immediately tried to decapitate him with my trusty axe, but he sprang out of the way like a fucking rabbit.

I went after him, and he continued to dodge me. I tried to goad him into attacking me, but he just stared at me with a blank fucking look on his face. Eventually I got my axe stuck in the fucking wall, and he stabbed me with something. I ripped the axe out of the wall and knocked him back. North then appeared in a doorway and shot at me, but in his state he couldn’t hit the broad side of a fucking barn, so I ignored him and focused on the speedy guy. He was distracted and I darted forward to break his shoulder. He dodged my attack, but I still got him in the arm, and I went after him again while he was still reeling. I fucking HAD him…and then he tripped me and stabbed me in the neck again. Everything gets a little hazy after that.

I woke up, left the loop, and found myself standing on top of what was left of a house. HE had shown up directly after I had fallen unconscious, apparently, and had teleported North and the skinny guy though the house to the point were it couldn’t withstand His influence and crumbled.

…

The End. That’s it. Go away. Fuck you all.

Goddamn son of a motherfucking bitch.

I got a letter.

From a certain Ferret.

And it’s addressed to Ire.


Ahem: Dearest Ire, (*gag*)

I just happened to stumbled across a peculiar assignment today, and I believe you would be perfectly suited for it.

This assignment involves a certain someone with whom you are not amicable with (well that really narrows it down), so there is some incentive in that. You remember [REDACTED], I presume?

The assignment itself is pretty straight forward; all you would need to do is [REDACTED]…[REDACTED]…[REDACTED].
It would be “like shooting fish in a barrel,” or however the saying goes. (*eye roll*)

If you could please [REDACTED]…
…for me, I would be eternally grateful. You would also be rewarded, of course, though I believe the work would be its own reward in this case, hmm?

If you do decide to accept the assignment, please email me at [REDACTED] for more details.

Signed,
[REDACTED/(The Ferrety Bastard)]

PS: Send Caeruleus my greetings.

Bored.

When Miss Ao said I was to go on a mission, I thought I would be going on an actual mission, not this boring venture that I’ve been sworn to secrecy over.

Miss Ao has requested an update, but as this is a…secret mission, all I can say is that it is progressing slowly.

This is so demeaning.