Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Assignment Report

As you all fucking know I got a letter from a ferret-faced bastard that Ao absolutely despises, telling me about an assignment. Why the fuck did he send a stupid letter anyway?

Ferret-Face granted me the honor of monitoring a sort of loop/pocket dimension and torturing its occupant. Boring shit, for the most part. Normally I would have told him to go fuck himself, but since the loop’s occupant was this prick… The potential fun outweighed the potential boredom.

The work was easy, just to my liking. I’d go in, smack the fucker around a little, and leave. Leaving the loop was disorienting as hell, but it was worth it. Right up until some black haired skinny bastard appeared out of fucking nowhere and ruined every-fucking-thing. Ferret failed to mention North had people who would come looking for him, of course.

So I entered the loop one day, and I heard someone hacking up a lung behind me. I turned around and saw the above mentioned black haired skinny bastard. I immediately tried to decapitate him with my trusty axe, but he sprang out of the way like a fucking rabbit.

I went after him, and he continued to dodge me. I tried to goad him into attacking me, but he just stared at me with a blank fucking look on his face. Eventually I got my axe stuck in the fucking wall, and he stabbed me with something. I ripped the axe out of the wall and knocked him back. North then appeared in a doorway and shot at me, but in his state he couldn’t hit the broad side of a fucking barn, so I ignored him and focused on the speedy guy. He was distracted and I darted forward to break his shoulder. He dodged my attack, but I still got him in the arm, and I went after him again while he was still reeling. I fucking HAD him…and then he tripped me and stabbed me in the neck again. Everything gets a little hazy after that.

I woke up, left the loop, and found myself standing on top of what was left of a house. HE had shown up directly after I had fallen unconscious, apparently, and had teleported North and the skinny guy though the house to the point were it couldn’t withstand His influence and crumbled.

The End. That’s it. Go away. Fuck you all.